Bloated? Exhausted? Foggy? Stuck?
The Hot Mess Mini Makeover is your fast, focused, expert-guided reset-
💥 Just $257 for 2 visits, real labs, and no fluff plan made for midlife.
Limited time offer: 50% off end July 24th
Real labs. Real Answers. Real plan.
Still wired but tired, and wondering what the hell happened in midlife?
You are NOT broken.
But you just need better labs.
Introducing the Hot Mess Mini Makeover™—a lab-smart, experience-backed reset for the women who are DONE guessing.
Hey there,
Let me guess...
You're exhausted. All... The... Time.
The brain fog is real...
Your hair is falling out more than it should...
The weight keeps creeping up no matter what you try...
And sleep? Yeah, that's becoming a distant memory.
The worst part?
You drag yourself to the doctor to get your bloodwork done, only to hear those frustrating words:
"Your labs look normal."
"Normal...what?"
Nothing feels normal about barely having the energy to get through your day...
About having to drag yourself out of bed every morning...
About feeling like you're living life at 50% of what you used to be...
You’re not lazy. You’re not crazy.
You’re just in midlife.
And your body’s trying to tell you something.
(c) 2024 Amy Dillion, NP. All rights reserved.
Let me guess......
• The bone-crushing fatigue that sleep can't fix
• The brain fog that makes you forget your own phone number
• The unexplained symptoms that keep appearing
• The feeling that you're slowly disappearing into someone you don't recognize
It’s hot. You’re a little sweaty. Your patience is wearing thin—and your hormones might be, too.
And honestly? You’ve spent way too long stuck in the “maybe it’s just me” zone.
Here's the truth...
Midlife doesn’t have to mean losing your spark, your sleep, your sanity—or your jeans.
To celebrate the glow-up of our website, we’re offering a special, limited-time Hot Mess Mini Makeover that brings your health into alignment, too.
What is The Hot Mess Mini Makeover?
A smart, strategic 2-visit lab-based experience designed for midlife women who want clarity, direction, and results.
Here's what's included:
🔬 Vist 1: Intake (30min) & Custom Lab Order
Short intake visit to hear your story. Then we order blood labs most doctors skip—so we can finally see what’s going on.
Full thyroid panel (not just TSH)
Blood sugar + insulin resistance markers
Inflammation + nutrient status
🔬 Vist 2 : Real Talk Results Review (60 mins)
Once labs are in, we connect for a down-to-earth, judgment-free review.
You'll Leave with:
A personalized report of findings
Our hormone + energy roadmap
A plan that makes sense for your body and your life
Labs with Purpose, Not Protocol
Most standard panels miss key markers, gloss over patterns, and ignore midlife reality.
At Telson Health, we do labs differently:
We see the subtle patterns...
The hidden imbalances...
Red flags before they become full-blown problems.
Who we are:
Charlene Orne PA-C & Deb Czuchra FNP-BC
Women's Health Experts
We’ve Been There, Too
We don’t just understand your struggle—we’ve survived it.
We’ve both hit rock bottom with midlife symptoms, been dismissed by the system we worked in, and finally found healing through functional medicine. Now we help women like you reclaim their energy, clarity, and confidence—without wasting time on “wellness trends.”
We don’t bash conventional medicine—we just know where it ends and where real healing begins.
What Makes This Different:
✅ Decades of Clinical Wisdom
You’re working with two women who’ve spent 30+ years inside the medical system and know exactly how to spot the signs traditional care misses.
✅ Functional, Not Fluffy
This is a no-BS, test-don’t-guess strategy rooted in science—not supplements from a social media ad.
✅ Personal, Not Cookie-Cutter
We actually listen. And we make sure your plan fits your life, not the other way around.
✅ Midlife-Smart
Hormones. Gut health. Burnout. Belly fat. Mood swings. We know this season because we live it.
We’ve helped hundreds of midlife women reconnect with their bodies, reclaim their energy, and feel better than before.
Now it’s your turn.
No more guessing. Just real solutions
(c) 2024 Amy Dillion, NP. All rights reserved.
Here's what some of our clients discovered after their consultation:
Amy
“I finally understood why I was so tired all the time - my ‘normal’ thyroid labs weren’t actually normal for MY body.”
Sarah
“For the first time, someone explained what my lab results meant and gave me a clear plan.”
Suzanne
“I thought I was going crazy because all my tests were ‘fine’ - turns out there were major signs everyone else missed.”
Look, you don't have to keep feeling this way.
The Hot Mess Mini Makeover™ is your fast track to feeling seen, supported, and finally on the right path.
This isn’t a wellness trend—it’s a science-backed reset built by two women who’ve lived it and spent decades helping others rise from it.
👉 Just $257 through 7/24—then the price goes up.
No more guessing,
no more "everything looks normal",
just real answers, real solutions.
Sales ends 7/24/25 Get it while you can.
(c) 2024 Amy Dillion, NP. All rights reserved.
Still wondering if this
is right for you?
The Hot Mess Mini Makeover™ is for you if:
You’ve been told “everything looks normal”... but you still feel off, exhausted, bloated, or stuck.
You’re craving real answers, not another generic supplement or surface-level fix
You’re tired of guessing and ready to understand what your labs are actually saying about your hormones, energy, and metabolism.
You want expert eyes on your health without committing to a long-term program (yet).
You’re a midlife woman who’s done “all the right things”—and you still don’t feel like yourself.
Not sure if your symptoms are “bad enough”?
That’s exactly the trap most women fall into.
If you’re feeling like a hot mess inside (even if you're functioning on the outside), this is your moment to hit pause, zoom out, and finally get the clarity your body’s been begging for.
👉 No more second-guessing. No more gaslighting. No more wasting time.
We built this Mini Makeover for you—the smart, busy, done-with-the-BS woman who’s ready for real change with expert support.
⚡️But heads up: this special offer is only available for a limited time. Once the doors close, they close—so don’t wait.
Frequently Asked Questions
Still have a few questions? You’re not alone. Here are the most common things women ask before booking their Mini Makeover.
Can I pay now and book my sessions later?
Yes! Once you purchase, you'll receive a private booking link to schedule your two sessions. You don’t need to book them immediately—just within the next 30 days. Perfect if your calendar’s a bit wild right now.
Is this a good fit if I’m already working with a doctor or specialist?
Absolutely. This is not a replacement for your medical care—it’s an expert-level layer of insight that goes deeper than standard interpretations. Think of it as a second set of trained, functional eyes on your health puzzle.
What exactly is included again?
You get two expert-led visits (one intake, one strategy session), a personalized lab panel and a no-fluff plan built around your real data-not just your symptoms. No long-term commitment. No guess work. Just real clarity, fast.
